Ps3 Gamer Zone - Video Game Reviews and Tips for the Hardcore Gamer

Dark Souls

Dark Souls, the perfected echo of the gut-wrenchingly difficult Demon's Souls. If you thought you died too much in Demon's Souls, you haven't seen anything yet. Dark Souls is a game not meant for casual-core gamers who want cheap thrills and easy wins...

Dark Souls

Though bosses may come to fall before you as you rack up experience and souls, each victory illicits a feeling of utter triumph, no matter how small it is...

Elder Scrolls V: Sketchy Skyrim

Pretty much everybody's heard of Skyrim, the legendary sequel of the prestigious Oblivion. Those who aren't gamers have probably heard of it through a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend...

N64 Onslaught Part VII, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Posted by admin on May 17th, 2012

This is one of the largest games for the N64, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to do what I’ll term a sparknotes review of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Completionists beware, you’re in for utter Hell on Earth levels of obsession, because there’s a whole lot of stuff in here, and there ain’t no rest for the wicked. A classic in many ways, this step forward in video game style leaves a great impact.

Ocarina of Time was developed alongside Mario 64, both utilizing massive open worlds as the main theme. While Mario 64 linked areas through paintings, Ocarina of Time just had one awe-inspiring huge world that connected to everything that needed connecting to. You go from Kokiri Village to the Hyrule castle town, up into the ashen reaches of Death Mountain, down into the dry, rocky wilds of Gerudo Valley; to the deeps of Lake Hylia, to the wetlands of Zora’s Domain. All in one map. Sure, there may be some loading in between, but the geography is legitimate. Just fling the camera around a bit. You’ll see.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

But it’s not all about traveling! Oh no. Dungeon crawling is another major aspect of Ocarina of Time. In fact, it’s the main aspect of stage-based advancement. If you want to get one of the three stones needed to open the stone doors in the Temple of Time, or awaken the seven sages to seal Ganondorf away, you’re going to need tools. And where do you get these tools? Dungeon crawling! What a silly question. The one bit of unfortunate news is that, as this is an earlier game, the consistency of use of your acquired tools (Megaton Hammer, Eye of Truth, Hookshot) declines rather drastically. That said, you’ll still need to keep a sharp eye for when you may need to whip out the old goodies to save your hide.

Completionism is also a great obstacle to overcome if you don’t want to spend hours on guides. There are hundreds of heart pieces in the world, made available through careful sniffing or completion of various challenges. Four pieces give you a new heart, which means more life, so how could collecting these not be worth it? And the Goron Sword! Sure, the trade quest has like twenty steps! That massive sword is amazingly powerful. You need to have it. And how about getting the cow in your old room so you can have Lon Lon Milk whenever you want? You know how that cow gets up the ladder? Neither do I! But you need to have it. Completionism hurts, but you need to get it all.

Speaking of need to have, the game’s music is also one of the more memorable aspects of Ocarina of Time. No, I don’t mean what you play with your ocarina. I mean the background noise. The Lost Woods, Gerudo Valley, Goron City, Zora’s Domain… If you play Ocarina of Time and love it, you’ll know the tunes to these songs by heart. Normally, you’d expect video game music to be beepy, blippy, boring, and bland, but this game sets the curve. N64 sound quality isn’t even a factor; it just adds to the nostalgia. This is all Koji Kondo’s work, so thank him and get the soundtrack. A true Zelda fan would love it to death.

I know I didn’t speak on the plot, or the bosses, but how can I? The game is so expansive, I wouldn’t know where to start. How deep to go in regards to detail. Would I even offer strategies? On an overview review, no. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is a legendary game even today, a milestone in Nintendo’s line of work. Combat flows as smoothly as the storyline; easy to grasp and fun to try to master. Modern Zelda games aren’t nearly as impressive or expansive as Ocarina of Time. They’re just an industry echo of this golden original.

Diablo III, A Preliminary Perspective

Posted by admin on May 16th, 2012

A lot of you know about Diablo III. The hype for this game was and still is incredible. Ever since its midnight release on 5/15/2012, people have been spazzing out and acting like the servers being overloaded is an unusual thing. I myself have not, as I have only heard say of the prior installment, Diablo II, though I never actually got around to playing it. Now that I’ve purchased Diablo III and played a rough four hours or so, I can sympathize wholeheartedly.

The Diablo III playstyle is much like Warcraft III or one of many other hero-oriented top-down RTS games. You choose from five classes, Barbarian, Witch Doctor, Demon Hunter, Monk, or Wizard, each of which draws from a different aspect of combat to kick ass. You may be thinking, “Whoa, only five? That’s not really a lot…” Au contraire. The complexity of the level-up system’s combat tree is astounding. Between primary, secondary, and hotkey 1-4 spells, each of which have at the very least 3 alternatives, you can play your class in whatever style suits you best.

Using experience from my gameplay session, the Monk’s primary attacks can either be a chain of punches that cause knockback, or a slow series of blows that pierce enemies (There are still two primaries left to unlock, mind you). To further customize the attacks, runes may be applied to add different elements, such as teleportation to the knockback, or multiple sequential blows to the piercing strikes. I’m very impressed with this means of combat customization, and to see it in five different classes is all the more inspiring. I truly look forward to continuing to play Diablo III.

A word on visuals. Or rather, several. If anyone has played DotA 2 on the highest visual settings, you already know how good a top-down hero RTS can look. Now apply a realistic physics engine, breakable environment, and a much wider variety of environments to travel and fight in. That’s about D3. Oh, and we mustn’t forget the instanced dungeons that are different every time. If you punch a zombie with the Monk’s lightning fist, it will get electrocuted and become charred. If you kill it with the final, explosive blow, its limbs will go flying off in random directions. Even long-dead corpses are still affected by the force of your local attacks. Diablo III is visually astounding. Plus you get to see the weapons and armor you equip, so you feel a little more in-touch with your character.

I do believe the foes you face deserve a good mention as well. Initially, you fight to spare the small village of Tristram from a grisly, undead related fate. You face off against standard zombies, larger ones that fight you whole then with only their upper half, female zombies that puke on the ground, spawning new zombies… Oh, and giant abominations that explode when they die, spawning hordes of corpse worms. When you enter the crypts, you start to notice swarming specters, gravediggers with knockback, carrion bats with electrical attacks, imps, maybe even special versions of these with a fear, teleport, or push ability. Rare gear awaits those who strike down the powerful.

In regards to negative aspects, I only have a few projected concerns. I’m hoping that it is possible to complete this game without needing to team up with other players. I’m a bit of a soloist when it comes to games like this. Secondly, I’m hoping that the EXP requirements do not force the game into a grindfest, as they seem to grow notably with every advancement. Finally, relating to the first concern, the bosses. I fought the Skeleton King, and it took forever. The guy had loads of HP. What will the last boss be like…? I’m very worried. Can I do it alone? Could you? We’ll find out. After all, this is just a preliminary look at Diablo III.

N64 Onslaught Part VI, Glover

Posted by admin on May 15th, 2012

Glover is an experimental goal oriented exploration game from 1998. The main character, interestingly enough, is a sentient glove that can do magic. You kind of feel like Master Hand’s kid brother, in a way. While many critics have bashed Glover for difficult to learn controls/mechanics and a bland plot, I think that this unique N64 game can provide curious gamers with a solid several hours of entertainment.

In an idyllic kingdom, a kind wizard ruled with magic and reason. His two sentient gloves helped him with his magic, so he had things pretty good. But then the plot hit him like a truck. A bad batch of potions caused an explosion that turned him to stone and flung Glover out the window of his castle and the other into the potion cauldron. It also shook the seven magic crystals from the castle’s peaks, which spurred Glover to use his magic to turn them into rubber balls so they wouldn’t break. Unfortunately, they rolled into different world portals, and the other glove was befouled by the horrid concoction and turned into the evil Cross-Stitch.

A little bland indeed, but the gameplay makes up for it. Glover’s got a wide array of things he can do, which probably accounts for the frustration from the critics. He can transform his ball into a metal ball, a bowling ball, a rubber ball, a powerball, or its original crystal form, depending on what you need for the current puzzle. And, he can toss, slap, dunk, and roll his ball, or point it out if it’s missing. Yes, he can slap his ball. That’s very mature of you. Be sure to keep it away from spikes, and god forbid you play around with the crystal form. It smashes, Glover screams and points, the world explodes.

The worlds are certainly fun. It’s hard not to enjoy the variety of levels that the developers implemented: Atlantis, Carnival, Pirates, Prehistoric, Fortress of Fear, and Out of this World. I’m ONLY going to be talking about the Carnival world, because that place was the most fun I’ve ever had playing Glover. It’s a linear level, but every once so often, you encounter an area full of mini-games! Oh my god! So fun! Roulettes with the dings, strength tests with the dongs! You can even ride in little roller coasters to collect goodies. It’s amazing. The boss is a giant clown, and even he is fun to fight. If you’ve ever played Chameleon Twist 2 and gone to the carnival level, imagine how fun that was, then double it. Pure liquid happiness.

When all’s said and done, there really isn’t too much to this game, nor is there too little. In this case, simplicity is far from a vice. Though a sequel was due, the modest success of Glover negated that chance and it was cancelled. Probably for the best. Glover feels like one of those games that’s grand all on its own and doesn’t need a sequel to further glorify itself. Simple yet complex, blocky yet pretty. Definitely worth it to add to your N64 game cache.

N64 Onslaught Part V, Super Smash Brothers

Posted by admin on May 12th, 2012

This is the pinnacle of classic; a game based off of a unique gameplay concept that kicked off a series that wound up drawing the attention of gamers worldwide. Take characters from Nintendo and put them in 3D in an environment that allows 2D motion, and let them beat the crap out of eachother. That was the premise for Super Smash Brothers. And holy crap, it proved to be more than successful.

At first, you wouldn’t expect that this kind of game would be received well. You see Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus Aran, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox, Pikachu, and wonder just who the hell would try to cram all these famous characters into a single game and just make them hash it out? I’m sure a fair few were skeptic of how this would play out, but even they would inevitably fall for the seductive wiles of Smash Bros. Jigglypuff, Ness, Captain Falcon, and Luigi are waiting to be unlocked! How could you deny them?

I’m sure most of you already know how the Smash Brothers games work, but for those who are unfamiliar, here’s a quick refresher. Players are spawned on a 2D platforming stage with a 0% in their game emblem at the bottom of the screen. By using standard A attacks, character unique B attacks, and R throws, the goal of the game was generally to rack up your enemies’ damage percentages as high as you could. The higher it goes, the further they fly when you hit them. This could be done one of many ways: Limited number of lives, limited time, coin time challenge, 300% to 0% HP stamina matches, even super sudden death, in which you start out at 300% damage.

Super Smash Brothers

That encompasses multiplayer and CPU fights, but doesn’t conclude the description of this game’s contents. A single-player mode in which the player selects their character, the difficulty, and the number of lives allowed provides several stages of standard combat plus various challenges. These challenges range from platforming time attacks to target breaking time challenges to gigantic battles against millions of purple, crystalline polygon creatures. If you manage to survive until the very end, you’ll be granted the chance to face off against Master Hand, the final boss character who’s kinda actually a white glove that just smashes the crap out of you and shoots finger rockets.

I might as well hint you in the right direction since this game is much more fun when you have all the characters unlocked. Jigglypuff is the easiest, just beat story mode any way you want and she’ll challenge you. You need to beat her to unlock her, as is the case for the other three hidden characters. For Captain Falcon, beat single player mode in less than 20 minutes. For Ness, beat single player mode on normal with only 3 lives, and don’t use continues. For Luigi, beat all the target smash stages with the original eight characters. Once you’ve got all that done, you can unlock the Mushroom Kingdom stage by beating single player in any way with all eight original characters.

Super Smash Brothers

And that about covers it! It’s an experimental game even for its time, but as you can plainly see (Super Smash Brothers Melee/Brawl), it was a huge success. It created a legacy, I think, a legacy that reminds you not to forget that even the greatest games started off as a simplistic idea that just got tossed around with curiosity. That actually goes a bit further to speak for the gaming industries of today; if you don’t experiment with your games, you’ll never have anything new. You can’t make a new world-renowned character with sequel after sequel.

Anyway, Super Smash Bros is an excellent N64 game that can kill time or serve as an intensive stress reliever, considering you can beat the crap out of people with hammers, bats, turtle shells, fire flowers, and so forth. Don’t go for the emulators unless you have a proper N64 controller, because PC controls are rather difficult to manage. Do they even make USB N64 controllers…? I hope so.

N64 Onslaught Part IV, Knife Edge Nose Gunner

Posted by admin on May 12th, 2012

This is definitely not one of those endearing childhood memory games. If anything, it’s the kind of game that you mention to a friend, then describe it for half an hour when they say they don’t remember it. And they still won’t remember it. Why? Because this is one of those games. This is… “The Game That I’m Pretty Sure Only I and Maybe Ten Other People Played.”

The premise of the game is rather interesting, I should say. Humanity settles onto Mars after constructing a terraforming building called the “Plant,” but inadvertently awakens the dormant Martian life forms that went into hibernation after the great Mars cataclysm in the 11^th century. Colonies are going silent faster than the military can investigate them, so an operation is set underway to locate the source of the Martian threat and wipe it out. That’s where codename Knife Edge comes in with his experimental gunship.

Experimental in this case meaning the plane flies itself, and you just control the vulcan gun and the secondary weapon. The vulcan provides basic rapid-fire damage and can be upgraded by shooting pink weapon crystals marked with a conspicuous W. The blue crystals repair shielding, so shoot at those too.

Secondary weapons are a little more unique in regards to performance. Homing missiles lock onto four targets and blast them for slight damage. Laser takes a while to charge, but does high damage when fired from your crosshair. Plasma torpedo has a single lock and a long charge, but does very high damage. Flak discharge fires from the center of the screen for lesser spread damage. The Nuke has an annoyingly long charge but deals a crap-ton of damage when you fire it. Finally, the special bombs. These guys clear the screen, but they have a limited number of uses. Raise your score to get more.

Speaking of flak, Knife Edge Nose Gunner has taken a lot of that from reviews and general criticism. It’s not surprising, considering the blocky, terrible graphics and the slow, difficult gameplay. That said, I don’t think Knife Edge deserves to be called a failure. It’s was the first rail gunner game released for the N64 in North America, don’t you know. That’s not too shabby. Yeah! So what if the comm link character avatars looked blotchy and pixelated, and when they talked it looked like they were just screaming MAMAMAMA over and over again. This game was crazy fun! Fighting Martians in space with space nukes? Gotta be a weirdo not to like that.

In all seriousness, this game is friggin’ hard. Unless you’ve played through at least six times and memorized every boss’s attack patterns, or have a reaction time of 0.1 seconds, you’re in for a bit of a rough time. The C buttons may be used to shift the ship in a direction to avoid attack, but by the final boss, you’ll have learned that sometimes, the C buttons are there solely to make you ram your head into a wall, meteor, or suicide drone. Worst part is, there are no checkpoints. NO MERCY. You die, you start the level over. From the very beginning. You die too many times, you start the GAME over from the very beginning. That was terrible, yet at the same time, it made winning feel really good.

So that’s the speculation on Knife Edge Nose Gunner. Definitely not a high quality beloved N64 classic, as I said; probably more along the lines of a hipster game made for those who like gaming ironically or playing something that nobody else knows about. It’s not necessarily a bad game, but you’ll be able to tell right off that it isn’t really good. I personally like it because I grew up on it, but that’s just me. Might be worth it to give it a shot.

N64 Onslaught Part III, Super Mario 64

Posted by admin on May 9th, 2012

I don’t care what the hell you have to say about Mario Galaxy, man. I really don’t. When I first played Super Mario 64, it was like I had seen the universe in 3D. Mario! In 3D! You could punch, kick, triple jump, ground pound, wall jump, swim… Oh my god. It was like magic. The castle was like a massage for my eyes. The levels were so huge and amazing. They weren’t even necessarily linear! It was like Super Mario Sandbox: Get Whatever Star You Feel Like, Man edition! I loved it. I still do.

One day, Mario gets a letter from Princess Peach. It says that he’s invited to come to the castle and have a cake that she’s baked for him. How awesome, right? Hang out at the Mushroom Kingdom castle, eat some cake, maybe get a kiss from the princess? Because that’s what’s awesome when you’re a kid. Cake and kisses. Right on. But god DAMN IT. Bowser had to invade the castle, seal the princess into a stained glass window, and hide all 120 of the Power Stars in a series of worlds contained within paintings. Looks like Mario’s got to save the day. Again. THIS TIME IN 3D. OH PLEASE YES.

This is a very critically acclaimed game. As one of the first major 3D games on the market, Mario 64 had a lot to offer. Smart, dynamic camera scripting made going up spiral mountain paths and avoiding boulders easy, because the camera would spin with you to reveal safe spots. Going through tiny corridors? No problem. Camera’s got your back. Easing your way across a narrow bridge? The camera gives you the widest, most stable shot so you won’t fumble and drop. And that’s only the camera.

Super Mario Sunshine

The mission oriented sandbox sort of playstyle was an inspiration for other retro-favorites, like Goldeneye 007. You remember that, don’t you? No? Well you’re too young, then. Damn kids these days. As I was saying, there were usually three missions per painting world, all of which provided you with enough direction to navigate the world and locate the star. Sometimes, there would be special hidden stars that would only make themselves visible after you completed a secret set of requirements. It was secret enough that you wouldn’t get it right off, but it was easy enough that you might accidentally happen upon it while dicking around in a level for a bit.

Among the other things that made this Mario game amazing were the hats. Mario’s hat was very important. If an enemy knocked your hat off, you would take an extra 50% damage from enemies until you re-hatted yourself. Or, if you felt like, I dunno, FLYING, you could go grab the winged hat, which made jet fighter games look totally boring. Fly above the Mushroom Kingdom, far from the reach of that giant Chain Chomp, and take in the sights. But be careful! This hat’s on a timer. Or you could grab the metal hat and walk on the bottom of the ocean and collect red coins like a boss.

Super Mario Sunshine

Also worth noting, the makers of this game were not afraid to make some levels exceedingly mind-blowingly controller-breakingly hard. Seriously. Some stages were so 3D platforming oriented that one twitch of the Z-button and you backflip into oblivion. Nothin bad really happens, though. You just sort of get flung out of the painting, shake it off, then hop back in. All the same, that’s a lot of progress lost, especially on the more linear levels. Worst thing of all? No checkpoints. You die, you’re out. NO MERCY.

I hope this convinces you to procure an emulator or a digital console copy of Mario 64 and play it to understand just how groundbreaking of a game it was. It’s really something, I promise you. In fact, I think you should start browsing some websites to see if they have N64s for sale. It would be a worthwhile purchase. No doubt about it.

N64 Onslaught Part II, Yoshi’s Story

Posted by admin on May 9th, 2012

The onslaught continues, this time with another beloved Nintendo classic! Spectacular 2.5D platformer Yoshi’s Story, a sweet and endearing tale with silly enemies, environments, and of course, playable loveable dinosaurs! With… long tongues that eat a whole lot of everything. Including people.

Er, anyway, on with the whole once upon a time business. Yoshi’s Island was a happy place, filled with life, love, and laughter. The Super Happy Tree provided all the Yoshis with an infinite supply of delicious fruit, which made them so very cheerful. Then, Baby Bowser saw the Super Happy Tree and how happy all the Yoshis were, and he began to feel jealous. In his envy, he stole the Yoshis’ beloved tree and turned the entire island into a pop-up book. As fate would have it, six eggs survived the gloom, and together decided that they would fight the great sorrow by eating fruit and being happy! And, of course, venturing to Baby Bowser’s castle and taking their tree back.

Yoshi's Story

The mechanics of Yoshi’s Story are easy to grasp but hard to master. A button once will make Yoshi jump, and A while midair will cause it to dip slightly then do a flutter jump. Good for strong height gains, but requires timing. B button will make Yoshi stick its tongue out, which can serve many, many purposes: Eating fruit, roping across chasms, snapping up coins, secret hearts, slurping up enemies, smacking bosses, even hurting you (if you try to lick something spiny). Z button while midair will make Yoshi do a ground pound. This function is very useful for breaking blocks, changing the colors of certain enemies to make them yield different health/fruit, or just to shake things up. The C buttons are used to throw exploding eggs that Yoshi pops out after eating foes.

There is an interesting means of level selection in Yoshi’s story. First things first, though. There are six pages to the storybook before the final boss fight, and each page consists of four possible stages. You only have to do one stage per page, though. Stages are selected by the number of special hearts you find in the prior area. Special hearts are hard to miss; giant, red, and they make a chiming sound if you get even remotely near them. Be warned, though. The more hearts you collect (up to 3), the harder the next stage will be. Don’t be deceived by the fact that this is a kid game. Fourth level stages’ll kick your butt.

Gameplay itself is what makes the game really fun. Instead of having to reach some goal or collect some final item, all Yoshi has to do to complete a level is eat 30 pieces of fruit. It doesn’t necessarily matter what kind gets eaten, just so long as the allotted number reaches 30. I will mention, however, that a super secret bonus is awarded to Yoshis who manage to eat 30 melons. There are a total of 30 melons hidden in each level, some buried underground (sniff ‘em out with R button when Yoshi starts showing signs), some caught in coin, time, or platforming challenges, and some are even hidden inside special enemies.

Speaking of super secrets, hidden within the later levels are two special Yoshis, one black, one white. They gain health bonuses from eating anything, including the normally harmful peppers and black Shyguys. The eggs they throw are super strong, and their explosions are super huge. Good news is, if they get gloomy (in-game term for die), you can use the regularly discovered white Shyguys to bring them back from Baby Bowser’s clutches.

If ever any worthwhile reassurance were to be given, this would be it: Yoshi’s Story is a very fun game for kids of all ages. I still enjoy blowing off the old N64 cartridge and putting an hour or two into Yoshi’s Story. I think you would too, after procuring the game via emulator or by online purchase! This isn’t a ploy. This is an order.

N64 Onslaught Part I, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards

Posted by admin on May 7th, 2012

N64 review week begins with one of my very favorite childhood video games, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards! Outside of the Smash Bros. franchise, this is probably one of the only times you’ll see Kirby in 3D. Righteous, right? That’s hardly the point, because 3D or not, Crystal Shards is probably the most complex, deep, and amazing Kirby game every to exist. I’ll give you a quickie of the plot, then we’ll discuss the more in-depth and gameplay stuff.

Once upon a time there was a peaceful kingdom of faeries on the planet Ripple Star. One day, an evil force known as the Dark Matter appeared, and engulfed the planet in darkness. In a panic, the princess ordered a fairy called Ribbon to take the planet’s sacred treasure, the Crystal, out and away from Ripple Star to keep it safe. The Dark Matter sees her escape, so it chases her and shatters the Crystal into shards that fly all over the solar system. Our hero, Kirby, witnesses this event as a star shower, until Ribbon falls to Pop Star and seeks his help. Always ready to help someone in need, Kirby and Ribbon set off on an adventure! How exciting!

The copy ability system in Crystal Shards is something you don’t see every day. There are a total of seven basic abilities available to Kirby, which can either be doubled or mixed up. That means a total of 63 total different abilities Kirby can use to kick ass, from fire swords to refrigerator forms. You’ll be impressed.

Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards

The planets Kirby travels to offer many different styles of stages. Pop Star consists of peaceful greenery, streams and hushed forests. Rock Star is a harsh world of deserts, mountains, and ancient ruins. Aqua Star should go without saying; most stages involve underwater action or beaches. Neo Star is a primal planet of deep jungles, volcanoes, and grasslands, somewhat reminiscent of the Pop Star stages. Shiver Star is a frozen world that’s home to factories, frozen wastes, and snow caves. Ripple Star is very civilized by fairy means, its stages usually involving moving from building to building, or going through sewers. Dark Star is… appropriately themed. It’s also a secret.

Throughout Kirby’s journey, he gains allies by defeating them while they’re possessed by Dark Matter, a direct result of coming on contact with a Crystal shard. Waddle Dee, the painter Adeleine, even King Dedede himself! All three of these chummy buddies will help you on your journey to collect every last one of the Crystal shards! And I mean every last one. If you don’t get them all, you’ll find yourself met with a very frightening ending, in which the princess herself becomes possessed by Dark Matter. If you collect them all, then the power of the Crystal forces the darkness from her, and it coalesces as the planet Dark Star.

This is the final level. The source of the great shadow that has fallen across the solar system. You thought Miracle Matter was a hard boss, what with him using all abilities against you, but nope. Zero Two is here to kick your ass, hardcore. This is probably one of the scariest bosses you’ll encounter in a game made for children. Zero Two is an white sphere with two great angelic wings, a glowing halo, and a red eye that bleeds. He has a bleeding eye. That freaked me out so badly. You have to use the artifact Crystal gun to shoot his weak points, then blast his cactus looking core point until he fades away and takes the Dark Matter with him.

I think the overall message of Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards is a positive one, if not basic. Kirby unites with old enemies in order to take on a greater threat, possibly a symbol for the nature of evil itself. It could be that the game’s telling us all to set aside our minor differences and work towards the greater good; to collect the shards of our hope and unite them to work towards and less dark future! I’m kidding, that’s pretty corny. But you do feel awesome when you beat this game, and the minigames are fun, too, so be sure to invite a few friends over to enjoy this N64 masterpiece.

Go Bananas Playing Super Monkey Ball 2

Posted by admin on May 4th, 2012

You don’t like my puns? Shame on you!

It’s time for a nice little review of a marvelous game for children of all ages! Super Monkey Ball 2 is an against-the-clock action 3D platforming puzzle game that tests your reflex, spatial judgment, and timing through a series of increasingly complex levels. That’s the main story, anyway. If you don’t want to spend time on puzzle crap, you can always engage in the mini-game action! Lovely.

I’ll cover the story first, because it’s pretty straightforward and adorable. The evil Dr. Bad-boon has stolen all the bananas from Monkey Island with his mysterious flying machine, and it’s up to Aiai, Mimi, Baby, and Gongon to get them back! Chanting the magic monkey words, they conjure their legendary Monkey Balls and use them to pass through the puzzle worlds that Dr. Bad-boon puts in their way. Isn’t that awesome? I think it is. Easy plot, but it gives you a goal. It’s really great. The cutscenes are so rewarding.

Super Monkey Ball 2

There are a total of ten worlds, each of which representing a different style of puzzle. Each world has ten levels within, constituting a campaign of exactly 100 levels. That’s a lot of levels. As I mentioned before, they start off incredibly easy and gradually escalate to near impossible difficulty.

They’ll start you off on a straight, flat course, and slowly complicate it by putting holes in the level, maybe making you time a drop onto a moving platform… And in a while, you’ll be using the overhead map to gauge a jump of over 1000 Monkey Feet! Well, I don’t know the in-game units of measurement, but suffice it to say the drop is really, really long. The last level involves you rolling onto the letters of a vertically rotating circular logo. Believe me, if you can complete level 100 with skill as opposed to luck, you either designed the game, or have gone completely Monkey Ballistic.

The multiplayer mode offers a series of short but sweet games that allow up to four players to engage in some jolly split-screen competition! Bash monkeys off your platform with giant fists in Monkey Boxing! Race across loopy stages and collect weapons to disable your opponents in Monkey Racing or Monkey Boating! Ready up your pineapple missiles and sputtery machine guns in Monkey Dogfight! Hone your timing and accuracy by dropping the ball in Monkey Target! Billiards, Bowling, Tennis, Soccer, Golf; what more could you ask for? It’s simply fantastic! How exciting.

Nearly forgot to mention: If you ever get bored of the mini-games when playing with friends, you can engage in a turn-based quasi-campaign playthrough. Unlock super secret bonus levels unavailable in single player story mode by quickly solving puzzles with your friends! Teach newcomers tips and tricks using your experience from those 100 levels you’ve relentlessly plummeted through to make the game fun for everyone.

Please not that this is indeed a kid’s game, so if you’re one of those obnoxious self-proclaimed “hardcore” rage-tastic gamers, you’re probably not going to be too fond of this casual slice of quality fun from the Gamecube days. If, however, you don’t have any pretentious standards, then I think you’ll quite enjoy it.

Run and Gun with Shadow the Hedgehog

Posted by admin on May 2nd, 2012

Let’s pretend for a second that you work for Sega and need to come up with an idea for a new, awesome, popular Sonic game. They don’t give you a lot to work with, just saying that they want it to be modern and relevant.

So you give Shadow the Hedgehog his own game with guns. And aliens that worship darkness. This is a Sonic game about Shadow that has guns and darkness worshipping aliens. Are you rolling your eyes yet? Looking away in embarrassment? Tearing your hair out and using it to make a fake moustache? If you’re not you will be in the immediate future; the game way okay.

It wasn’t so terribly hard to pick up and play. You can jump, air-dash, punch, and of course murder either humans or aliens in order to procure a gun with which to shoot many more humans or aliens. You can drive all manner of vehicles too, some of which can take you to normally inaccessible areas.

Shadow the Hedgehog

Overall, the gameplay definitely doesn’t feel like a Sonic game. I mean, you have rings for HP, and if you get tagged when you have no rings, you die. You collect Chaos Emeralds in order to further the plot, but it just doesn’t feel the same. I suppose that really doesn’t matter, though. It’s a Shadow game, not a Sonic game, and Shadow can shoot and drive all he wants.

The plot is what sets this one so far apart from the others. Black Doom is an alien overlord that claims to know something about Shadow’s past. He wants Shadow to help his kind, the Black Arm, invade and conquer the planet Earth on a conquest to procure all seven Chaos Emeralds. Dr. Robotnik, the Sonic archetype-antagonist, also wants the Emeralds presumably so he can take over the world. The rest of the good guy crew, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, E-103, and more, all just want you to help them save the world from the other two. Oh yes. It’s a Sonic game with morality.

The moral system isn’t particularly difficult to navigate. If you want to be good, you kill the aliens and do things that make Dr. Robotnik and Black Doom dislike you. If you want to be neutral, just get to the end of the level and don’t give a damn. Bad boys follow their evil overlords to the end of days and kill lots of humans in the process. There are a total of eleven different endings, the first ten being accessible through following the various plotlines connected to the moral system. The eleventh only becomes available after completing all others, and leads you to the true ending.

Shadow the Hedgehog

The true ending is a secret, something that has to be earned through a length of gameplay. Actually, that’s an important point to touch on. A lot of the game can get redundant because you need to play through the same level over and over again in order to get each and every one of the ten initial endings. Yes, it’s a cheap way to increase playtime, and yes, they do try to accommodate this by implementing a series of unique weapons. A heal launcher, a chicken gun, a Chao cannon… You get the idea. It’s wacky.

For obvious reasons, this game isn’t for everyone. Some might see it as a farce, or an appeal to the shooter-loving masses, or even a modest yet prominent stint into a new genre. I found that Shadow the Hedgehog’s repetition was made worth it by the content of the conclusions to each chain of events. The endings were all quite unique.

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