Armored Core V, Not You Too

Armored Core V

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not want to review this piece of shit of a game. I know I’m supposed to wait before I dump personal opinions into reviews, maybe offer a view of the gameplay mechanics first, but this game is such a goddamned disappointment. I’m no novice when it comes to the Armored Core series either. I’ve been around since it had games on the Playstation One, and I’ve played them all. As you may have guessed, this is the game that kills the series. I’ll explain why.

First and foremost, simplification. This installment was simplified to the point of being unplayable. The focus was shifted from solo missions, a trait that has been present in every single Armored Core game from the beginning, to modern day shitty overbalanced multiplayer. Even the campaign is meant to be played online. This completely alienates the older fanbase in favor of the bandwagon. When you see a squad group called the Decepticons, and that they’re dominating a solid portion of the available territories, you know the game’s already gone to shit. And I mean to deep shit.

Allow me to expound upon my grievances even further. I’m sure you recall my mention of overbalancing. Normally, balancing is used to make a game more enjoyable and to remove the possibility of overpowered parts. In the past, the wide variety of potent parts had a way of balancing itself, making each mission or duel a matter of skill. Now, with the newer parts, everything falls to the rock-paper scissors system between Kinetic, Chemical, and Thermal weapons. And no, these aren’t anything special. Some weapons are chemical for whatever reason, but that just means they look like normal guns with slightly different bullets. Whoop dee doo. That ALSO means that no battle has anything to do with skill anymore. All you need to do is build your Armored Core with the weapons the targets are weak against, and you win without even trying. It makes fights black and white; not even worth the trouble.

Armored Core V

Another grievance, if you will. Primal Armor energy shielding and Kojima weaponry have been completely omitted. Null and void. Probably because someone bitched about them being too strong. They balanced Kojima weapons in Armored Core for Answer, giving them few bullets but noteworthy damage potential at full charge. I guess that wasn’t enough for some people, because now the game isn’t even fun. Good going, guys. You bitch about overpowered parts, they take out every last part that could even be considered fun. Even gatling guns are worthless shit now.

Yet another grievance. What the hell is with all the weapons that require the ground-based immobile ready position? Who in their goddamned right mind would want to adopt an immobile-vulnerable position in a fast-paced mech shooter? Do you want to stand still, trying to manipulated a slow-to-aim yet powerful gun while you’re torn apart by your weakness gun from all directions? You know, because you can’t move? Why even have guns that you can’t shoot unless you stand still, especially considering the ridiculous amount of cover the new installment provides in its combat environments?

Is there no end to the bad things about this game? Ultimate weapons. Practically defining the phrase “awesome but impractical,” only with 100% less awesome. These weapons take up both of your hanger slots and create a massive drain on your energy and already horrible mobility. In order to use them, you need to charge them from anywhere between half a minute to a minute and some. During this time, the weapon slows you to the extreme while draining your health and energy. Yeah, the mass blade can kill people with one strike. Yes, the legion laser can fire in all directions at once. But who gives a shit? You’ll be dead before you can finish your charging. How useless. Why would they get rid of Kojima if they were going to put these worthless jokes of weapons in this farcical game? Oh, right. Because it’s a farcical game.

Armored Core V

Here’s another one for the blacklist. You know how Armored Core never once released a DLC pack with overpowered trump weapons? Guess what they did in five? You know how the Armored Core team never once made two weapons with the same appearance? How every gun was unique in appearance, all 3D models were original? Guess who got a little trigger happy with the copy-paste buttons? You know how the game used to be focused around mobility and player reaction to various encounters? Guess who dumbed it down so even a turn-based RPG fan could pick it up and kick ass with next to no effort.

Here’s the short version: Armored Core V isn’t a part of the Armored Core series. It’s a pathetic little offshoot that appeals to the bandwagon, social media addicts and no one else. This game is completely worthless, no matter how innovative the designers say it is. As far as I’m concerned, From Software has done to their beloved series what EA does to every game it’s ever touched; turned it into a failed joke that kills the series forever. You’ll never see another Armored Core game ever again, because this one is a failure, and the bad reception will discourage the designers from continuing the series. Another one bites the dust. Game. Fucking. Over.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

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