Mario Party 5 is so goddamned fun. Fun for you, fun for me, for all your friends, for your family. Hell, if Mario himself came to your house and played, he’d love it too. It’s a Gamecube game, which means awesome splitscreen multiplayer instead of annoying bad-natured online gaming that’s so common these days. No, I never get sick of bashing my most hated aspect of the modern gaming industry, so if you disagree with me, write an article explaining why it’s actually good. That’s a little off-topic, though.

Mario Party 5 offers a little bit too much in regards to gameplay, in a good and a bad way. The good way is that it has a real shit-ton of minigames to play. Over one hundred. That’s pretty impressive, in my opinion, considering all of them are fun. The fact that they all require a level of skill despite being easy to pick up and play makes them all worth the little time it takes to complete them.

The negative is that so many game modes use a randomization system to select from the expansive pool, and the little sub-pools. Namely free-for-all, 1v3, and 2v2. While that may seem too heavily reliant upon the mini-games to provide the fun, the rest of the game modes tend to provide whatever the minigames fail to. Let me cover briefly the larger game mode so you know what’s what.

Mario Party 5

The primary game mode is Mario Party, where all players are placed on a large stage full of gimmicks; random event spots, Bowser spots, coin giving spots, and coin taking spots. After every player’s turn, a minigame goes down, awarding a good sum of coins to the winner. Donkey Kong appears on the map too, taking up a special spot that can earn a player coins or even a star if landed upon. The goal of this mode is to purchase the 20 coin stars from the randomly placed star spaces across the map. If someone buys the star, the space moves. When the final five rounds roll in, Bowser starts ruining everyone’s day by doing something evil. He can force the winning player to hand two stars over to the losing player, he can turn all coin-taker red spots into Bowser spots, or he can just kill you. I’m kidding. But he sucks, which is the main point.

The other game modes aren’t as important, since they just use minigames as means of dueling, team-fighting, board gaming, and so forth. The one exception to this is the destruction derby mode in which player can build their own Mario Battle Car and pit it against up to three others in an arena of awesome action. By spending points earned in both the Mario Party mode and the battle car mode, you can purchase epic new parts for your fancy ride, see? You can equip the Boo body, which makes your vehicle invisible except on radar and when firing. You can buy the Lakitu cloud wheels that allow you to fly over any terrain without suffering for it. Even lava. Lava hurts, you should be damned grateful for these cloud wheels. The guns are cool too. The mushroom cannon, the evil eyeball homing laser, the Bowser flamethrower, all wonderful choices for Mario destruction derby enthusiasts. It’s actually pretty tough fighting against computer players, because they can read your moves like an open book.

Mario Party 5

Alas, dear Mario Party 5. I knew thee well. I still do. It’s one of those games you can play when you have either loads or only a little time to kill. Specific/random minigame, or entire Mario Party game. It’s up to you. Good times all around. The best news is, the expanse of minigames will prevent the game from becoming boring for a good long time. I had to play this for a few years before it finally died, and I can still play it every once in a while. Yeah, there are other Mario Parties out, but WHO CARES get this one. Get it and play it, or I’ll come to your house and rub steel wool all over your new-fangled Mario Party discs. That’s right.

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