Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon is for Real American Winners

Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon

Whoa dude, totally radical! It’s like I’m living in the past, man. I mean, like, Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon should’ve totally been a standalone instead of an expansion, but like, you know, right? It’s chock full of positive messages, and it’s got totally gnarly graphics with neon stuff and lots of righteous weapons. Upgrade ‘em, kick some ass, make some cash, be a total tough customer! And that concludes my essay on why the 80s were the absolute worst ever.

But I kid. As a standalone, Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon doesn’t have a lot of content. It’s got a far bit of collection, a few campaign missions, and a reasonable cluster of weapons and upgrades for you to spend your cash on. All things considered, it should be a terrible game. HOWEVER, the true quality in the game comes from the tongue-in-cheek 80s theme and the condescending tooltips/tutorial.

See, that’s something worth touching on. A lot of games have unnecessary tutorials. We live in an age where gaming is pretty damn mainstream. It’s tough to find someone who hasn’t said, “Yeah, I know,” while taking part in a mandatory tutorial or having their screen cluttered by obvious advice. Blood Dragon actually goes out of its way to satirize the tutorial, making it condescending, lengthy, and annoying. Even your character gets pissed off at it.

Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon

The plot is as follows: Sergeant Rex Power Colt is on a mission to stop Colonel Sloan from blowing up the world with blood dragon blood missiles and changing it into a whacked out sci-fi Jurassic Park. Dr. Darling, the love interest, helps out Rex on the way with science! She even offers to give him modified dragon blood, but what does Rex say? He says no! A real American hero knows that winners don’t use drugs! You’ll hear crap like that a lot, and probably get a good laugh out of it.

It’s basically a flashy “what the future would be like” reskin of Far Cry 3, with more references than you can shake a stick at. You get RoboCop’s pistol, Terminator’s shotgun, a neon bow with flashy arrows, a laser gatling gun, a sniper rifle, and a flamethrower. Good kit, eh? You even get a nasty little superweapon at the end of the campaign.

Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon

$15 is all you gotta pay for this little neon turd. That’s not really asking a lot, considering you don’t need to own Far Cry 3 in order to play. There is a catch, though. If you buy Blood Dragon on Steam, you have to access it through Uplay. I won’t lie, Uplay is a shitty medium. It’s invasive and useless and I just don’t care very much for it. It won’t touch any of your other games, but it’s still there enough to warrant my full, irritated attention.

Joey Davidson of TechnoBuffalo likes it! He really likes it. Cheap 80s thrills are tip top, and while Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon isn’t the highest quality of games, it is unique enough to offer some legitimate entertainment. Laser pew pew! http://www.technobuffalo.com/reviews/far-cry-3-blood-dragon-review/

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