Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon is for Real American Winners

Whoa dude, totally radical! It’s like I’m living in the past, man. I mean, like, Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon should’ve totally been a standalone instead of an expansion, but like, you know, right? It’s chock full of positive messages, and it’s got totally gnarly graphics with neon stuff and lots of righteous weapons. Upgrade […]

Don’t Starve, But Feel Free to Go Mad

Lovecraftian survival horror? Sign me right up, please. I had been debating purchasing Don’t Starve in the Steam store for a while now, and I finally broke down and bought it. This crafting-based hardcore survival beast will not be slain very easily. As it says on the tin, there are no instructions, save for the […]

Orcs Must Die! 2, the Self-Explanatory Title

Orcs Must Die! 2 is an impure tower defense, meaning in this context that player characters can actively take part in the slaying of orcs alongside their defenses. Third person murder! It doesn’t deviate terribly from the TD forumula; spawn points lead to end points, orcs getting to end points cost Rift Points, zero Rift […]

Evochron Mercenary, Fun in the Great Outdoors

By outdoors I mean IN SPACE. Less trees and wildlife, more gravity hazards. For the longest time, I’ve been looking for a free-roam spaceship-type game. The second I finished Evochron Mercenary’s thorough, well-done (slightly wordy) tutorial, I promptly activated my fulcrum jump drives and rammed myself right into an asteroid. I was quite dead. That’s […]

Proteus is Your Brain on Musical Pixels

Video games can do many things. They can train children to be competitive little assholes, provide relaxation after a long week, fry your brain and deprive you of sleep, or give you a pleasant and surreal world to escape to when things are rough. Proteus is one of those. Which one? Do some detective work […]

Strike Suit Zero, Open-Space Gundam Style

Who said simple was a bad thing? Sure, we live in an age where every game has to have a unique mechanic that truly sets it apart from every other game that exists. But if you’ve argued video game originality, you know everything comes from something. That said, I present to you Strike Suit Zero, […]

Skyrim Dragonborn DLC, Now with Tentacles

Before I bequeath to you my knowledge of the Skyrim Dragonborn DLC, I present to you an image. Imagine, if you will, an obelisk surrounded by NPCs stuck in the “animation not found” Jesus Christ on an invisible cross position, their mouths moving as they speak in droning voices about how their “idle hands will […]

Skyrim Hearthfire DLC, or Skyrim Cribs

Bethesda finally says “I love you” to all the pack rats and completionists of Skyrim with Hearthfire. This content-over-quest DLC pack gives you all the space you need to store your goodies while offering you slight (keyword) customization of how your home looks. I say slight because the final product of each wing/room always looks […]

Faster Than Light, Right Into a Wall

Ten dollars isn’t bad for a roguelike spaceship simulator RPG. Faster Than Light is a fun game, but sadly lacks the necessary qualities to cause an addiction. “Something fun on occasion that tapers off due to lack of measurable progress,” perhaps. Piloting a crew across a warzone of a galaxy, battling rebel ships, alien lifeforms, […]

Downward Spiral Knights

Say I took a Medieval clockwork theme and slapped it onto Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, and accidentally spilled some annoying MMO elements all over the place. That’s Spiral Knights in a nutshell. A warning to MMO seekers out there: Free to play means “pay to actually enjoy” more often than not. In this case, […]