HOARD, Easy Come, Easy Go

I received HOARD as a gift from a friend, which basically means that I myself wouldn’t have purchased it. This is basically true, since HOARD is a dangerously simple and small game. That said, it is also entertaining in small bursts. I’ll leave out adjectives such as “good” and “bad” because I believe HOARD accomplishes […]

Dead Island, Second Take

I never ever thought I’d come back to Dead Island. I mean, after playing through as the blade-wielding glass cannon Xian and getting murdered in half a second whenever anything more than a basic zombie slapped me, I was pretty much done. But, my desire for open-world zombie re-murdering was too strong, and I found […]

Oh, the Places Journey Will Take You…

First and foremost, Journey is not a game. I don’t think of it as one. While it has a finite goal, challenges to overcome, areas to explore, and power to be gained, it doesn’t feel like a game at all. Journey is a form of digital therapy, and it performs this exquisitely. With no instruction […]

Terraria is NOT Minecraft, Okay?

Before I actually started playing Terraria, I was convinced that it was just a cheap 2D replica of Minecraft. At a glance, you may agree with this sentiment, but that’s why I’m here to convince you otherwise. Gameplay-wise, Terraria and Minecraft have many elements in common, such as crafting, digging, mining, and constructing. However, the […]

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, Ezio’s Gone Senile

Seriously. The climbing controls are difficult to manipulate even with experience. Ezio is obsessed with jumping to his death. Analysis: Free roam is magnificent, everything else is goddamned annoying. The fact that the bonus goals (full synchronization) are so convenient to achieve yet easy to fail makes everything worse. Say, for example, you’re trying to […]

Fallout 3, the Apocalypse Swagger

This is probably the least glitchy Bethesda game I’ve played. You’d think that Skyrim would have been cleaner, or that Fallout New Vegas would be a step up from what it actually is, but surprise! Nope. While Fallout 3 does have its glitches, they aren’t prominent enough to take away from your playing experience. Let’s […]

Prototype 2: Freshly Evolved, but a Bit Stale

I’m not sure if Prototype 2 is on par with or better than Prototype, the First. I’ve played, according to my savegame, 54% of the game’s plot, and I haven’t been particularly wowed by anything I’ve seen so far. That shouldn’t lead you to believe that Prototype 2 isn’t worth getting, of course. Considering that […]

Party Til You Pop with Bomberman Party Edition

How many of you still own a Playstation? You know, the first kind? Not many, I imagine. How many of you own a Ps3? That’s better. If you’ve got a Ps3, you can play Ps1 games, so I’ll introduce you to an old favorite. Bomberman Party Edition! You know Bomberman, right? The little guy with […]

Hey You, Pikachu! Uh, Hello? Pikachu? Hey?

Remember Duck Hunt? That NES game where you plugged in a light gun to the console and played with that? Well think like that, only with a little yellow microphone that you’ll most definitely wind up screaming at for half an hour while Pikachu throws tissues around your room and laughs maniacally. Oh yes. It’s […]

N64 Onslaught Part III, Super Mario 64

I don’t care what the hell you have to say about Mario Galaxy, man. I really don’t. When I first played Super Mario 64, it was like I had seen the universe in 3D. Mario! In 3D! You could punch, kick, triple jump, ground pound, wall jump, swim… Oh my god. It was like magic. […]