N64 Onslaught Part III, Super Mario 64

I don’t care what the hell you have to say about Mario Galaxy, man. I really don’t. When I first played Super Mario 64, it was like I had seen the universe in 3D. Mario! In 3D! You could punch, kick, triple jump, ground pound, wall jump, swim… Oh my god. It was like magic. […]

N64 Onslaught Part II, Yoshi’s Story

The onslaught continues, this time with another beloved Nintendo classic! Spectacular 2.5D platformer Yoshi’s Story, a sweet and endearing tale with silly enemies, environments, and of course, playable loveable dinosaurs! With… long tongues that eat a whole lot of everything. Including people. Er, anyway, on with the whole once upon a time business. Yoshi’s Island […]

N64 Onslaught Part I, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards

N64 review week begins with one of my very favorite childhood video games, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards! Outside of the Smash Bros. franchise, this is probably one of the only times you’ll see Kirby in 3D. Righteous, right? That’s hardly the point, because 3D or not, Crystal Shards is probably the most complex, deep, […]

Go Bananas Playing Super Monkey Ball 2

You don’t like my puns? Shame on you! It’s time for a nice little review of a marvelous game for children of all ages! Super Monkey Ball 2 is an against-the-clock action 3D platforming puzzle game that tests your reflex, spatial judgment, and timing through a series of increasingly complex levels. That’s the main story, […]

WarioWorld, On Wealth and Weirdness

Dust off your Gamecubes, lads and lasses, cuz we’ve got a classic! I’m not really sure I’m comfortable reviewing WarioWorld, actually. This is one of the few games that actually managed to give me nightmares. Something about giving Wario his own demented dimension is akin to giving mankind the ability to shape the universe; VERY […]

Chomps ‘n’ Thwomps ‘n’ Bullet Bills, Mario Party 5

Mario Party 5 is so goddamned fun. Fun for you, fun for me, for all your friends, for your family. Hell, if Mario himself came to your house and played, he’d love it too. It’s a Gamecube game, which means awesome splitscreen multiplayer instead of annoying bad-natured online gaming that’s so common these days. No, […]

Super Mario Sunshine: Dirty Italy

No offense, Italy. This is one of those Mario offshoot games that came out when gaming corporations were willing to experiment with their projects. You know how Mario normally jumps on mushroom people, collects coins, shoots fireballs, and bashes his head on brick blocks? Yeah, you remember. Who in Nintendo thought that giving Mario a […]

Gigantic Little Big Planet

Yeah, I know the second one’s out. Leave me alone. I’m reviewing the first one because I adore the nature of the game itself, and I know how to appreciate the roots of quality games. So there. Little Big Planet’s name is outrageously accurate. If you play the campaign and take it at face value, […]

Playing God with Super Scribblenauts

For the record, this game is on the Nintendo DS. See the thing on the left? I’m not calling you blind, I’m just sayin’. Nintendo DS. It seems like this game is meant to show the world the true colors of today’s youth. In Super Scribblenauts, you may summon ANYTHING you could imagine by writing […]

Puyo Pop FEVER! Watch me now!

Fifty bucks if anyone even knows what game I’m talking about. It’s one of those obscure Gamecube games that looks childish and lame but is in fact really, really good. The game’s small, simple, and lovely. It doesn’t try to bloat itself up to look cooler or more interesting than it is. It’s an honest […]