Downward Spiral Knights

Say I took a Medieval clockwork theme and slapped it onto Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, and accidentally spilled some annoying MMO elements all over the place. That’s Spiral Knights in a nutshell. A warning to MMO seekers out there: Free to play means “pay to actually enjoy” more often than not. In this case, […]

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, Ezio’s Gone Senile

Seriously. The climbing controls are difficult to manipulate even with experience. Ezio is obsessed with jumping to his death. Analysis: Free roam is magnificent, everything else is goddamned annoying. The fact that the bonus goals (full synchronization) are so convenient to achieve yet easy to fail makes everything worse. Say, for example, you’re trying to […]

N64 Onslaught Part VII, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

This is one of the largest games for the N64, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to do what I’ll term a sparknotes review of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Completionists beware, you’re in for utter Hell on Earth levels of obsession, because there’s a whole lot of stuff in here, and there […]